The Coping Strategy That Helped You Then May Be Hurting You Now

Have you ever wondered why you and your partner can seem to have the same argument over and over again, even when you both genuinely want things to be different? In couples therapy, we often look beneath the conflict to understand the cycle each partner brings into the relationship. The way we learned to cope, protect ourselves, and seek connection in childhood can follow us into our adult relationships—sometimes without us even realizing it. By understanding where those strategies came from and how they interact with our partner’s, we can begin to change the cycle and create new ways of relating to one another.